The sexy shceme
by Tobifan4444
Summary: Muki-chan dis is for you! LOTS of mini stories that all tie together some how. HOW FAR WILL MUKI-CHAN'S PLOT GO? FIND OUT! LEMONS FLUFF AND CRACK. Dis-continued until further notice!
1. Muki chan PLOT

**WARNING OCness, YOAI (Pairings~ Madei hints of KakuHida and KakuOc), and let's not forget the crackyness XD**

**I don't own Naruto or any of the characters, sadly. Nor do I own the idea it belongs to ****Muki-chan, where ever she may be ^_^ I have changed it I bit I hope you don't mind Muki-chan**

**From my resent fanfiction I got a review, very long and very funny. I laughed my ass off. Well the author of this review said I may use it as a story, and that's what I'ma gonna do. :D this goes out to you ****Muki-chan, thank you for the review idea.**

I shadowy figure stared into the computer screen smiling.

"OMG! That's from the new Three Days Grace album! I just KNEW the song would fit Madara PERFECTLY!"

She strolled down to the bottom of the page and clicked a button that said 'review'. She typed 'Muki-chan' as her name and typed a long but funny review. Another figure loomed over her shoulder.

"Your just happy cause' Tobi turned out to be evil."

"HELL YEAH!" Muki yelled at the top of her lungs

Tobi just so happening to hear what was going on, replied. "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

Muki-chan turned to look at Tobi "Sure you are Tobi."

Then she stood up and whispered into her friend's ear "Hey Hikari, I gotta plan to expose Tobi and make ALOT of money off fangirls. Do you wanna help?"

" TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! Tobi gonna take a shower!" Tobi huffed and left

Hikari smiled "So, what's the plan?"

"Get everyone in the Akatsuki in the bathroom. Trust me on this." Muki-chan grinned evilly

********************Five Minutes later***********************

"Why the hell did you bring us here?" Pein muttered

"Just be quiet and get in the bathroom!" Muki said

"Are you crazy, un?! There's someone in there!" Deidara yelled

"Do you want to see what's behind Tobi's mask or not?" Muki-chan growled

Everyone was muttering about wanting to know, then Pein and Konan's eyes widen in shock.

"Everyone in!" Muki-chan schemed as she pushes everyone in the bathroom. Which was drowned by the singing of an angel, a fallen angel.

Tobi unknowing of the audience singing Lights Out by Breaking Benjamin. _"I am done pretending, you have failed to find what's left,"_

"Fangirls are going to pay ALOT of money for this. Itachi, do you have the camera ready?" Muki whispered

_"I will suck you dry again"_

Itachi whispered back "Yup, it's HD."  
_  
"Some are not worth saving, you are such a PRETTY MESS"_

"Damn. He's a good singer." Deidara shivered

_"I will cloak the life within,"_

"Can we wait a few seconds? This is my favorite part!" Muki whispered

_"Now you wanna take me down, as if I even CARE, I am the MONSTER in your HEAD, And I thought you'd learn by now, but since you lost your head, I am the VENOM in your SKIN, and now your life is BROKEN, After the lights go out on you,"_

"He's gonna murder me when he sees us! I gotta get to the door!" Pein thought to himself

_"After your worthless life is through,"_

Pein tried to unlock door, but freezes when he sees a glaring Muki.

_"I will remember how you SCREAM,"  
_  
Muki-chan whispered "There's no escape PEIN! Mwhaahahaha! Jou gotta suffer the consequences like the rest of us!" Muki walked over to the curtain and grabbed it

"_I can't afford to care, I can't afford to ca-"_

Muki pulled back shower curtain and Itachi took a photo of a wet and naked Uchiha, Madara.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Madara yelled

"Holy shit Tobi is HOT!UN!" Deidara yelled bleeding from his nose

Konan was Blushing and trying to look away. While Pein was trying to break the door down. During this Zetsu was wondering what Madara would taste like, in more ways than one

"Great! This is going to be a GREAT promo for Uchihacest!" Itachi broke out laughing

"You better give me a share of the profits for that camera Muki." Kakuzu growled

"Shut it you cheep bastard." Muki hissed

"HOLY SHIT THE WUSSY IS HOT!" Hidan shouted

"Damn Deidara, you just got beaten by a landslide!" Sasori gasped

Madara blushed closes shower curtain, turns off shower, and grabs nearby cloak before coming out looking furious.

"WHO DID THIS?!" Madara yelled

everyone pointed to Muki

"AND I'M GONNA SELL THE PHOTO OF YOU IN THE SHOWER FOR MILLIONS! BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAA!" laughed evilly as she despaired in smoke

"Damn . . . the girl becomes hotter each day." Kakuzu mumbled

"Gross Kakuzu. Muki is too cute for you." Sasori grunted

"I'm better than MUKI anyway." Hidan growled in jealousy

"WHO TOOK THE GODDAMED PHOTO!" Madara barked

everyone pointed at Itachi.

"Please! What are you gonna DO about it?" Itachi laughed

**"I'M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE WITH A CHEESE GRATER WHILE FORCING YOU TO LISTEN TO THE HARRY POTTER SOUNDTRACK OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I WILL USE A BUTTERKNIFE AND MANKYO TO MAKE YOU BLEED FROM THE INSIDE WHILE THOUSANDS OF NEEDLES PERICE YOUR SKIN! YOU WILL BEG AND BEG FOR THE END! AND I WILL MAKE YOU SUFER!"** Madara growled demonically

Itachi wet his pants as Madara stared darkly at him. Everyone else was in complete silents. Then fangirl sequels echoed at the front door

"Damn. Muki works fast when it comes to selling things to the fandom." Kakuzu said

"SHIT!" Madara hissed

"Why did you wear the mask anyway, Un?" Deidara asked but he thought he looked WAY better without it.

"WHY DO YOU THINK! ADHD AND RETARDNESS IS FANGIRL REPELLENT! JUST THINK OF WHAT THEIR GOING TO DO TO ME?! LAST TIME THEY TORE OFF ALL MY CLOTHS! I do NOT need a repeat of THAT!" Madara yelled while Bangs on door could be heard

"CRAP!" Madara growled

"And the entire Akatsuki is here! They may force us to touch EACHOTHER!" Itachi shuddered

"You just HAD to give me that image!" Madara shouted

"WERE GONNA FUCKIN DIE!" Hidan yelled

Kakuzu clutched onto Hidan like a scared two year old, causing the other to blush "HUMAN SHEILD!" Kakuzu shouted and Hidan's blush instantly faded to anger.

"I WILL NOT BE YOUR GOD DAMNED HUMAN SHEILD!"

Zetsu walked over to the door with the fangirls screaming on the other side "HUNGERY!"

"AH!" All girls run away from outside door except for one girl.

"EP! ZETSU!" The Zetsu fangirl squealed

"Even I get a fangirl. Life isn't fair!" Zetsu pouted

"Too bad Ze-tsu-san!" Madara laughed

Zetsu licked his lips, _man I wish I could hear him say that under me_. Deidara started daydreaming about dirty images of Madara calling him 'Sempai'

"Deidara why are you staring at me like that?" Madara said thinking he always knew Deidara was gay.

"I…uh…UN"

"CoughGayCough" Itachi "coughed"

"I AM NOT GAY,UN!"

"I didn't say anything." Itachi smiled

"Sure Uchiha, sure, un"

"Deidara, denial doesn't suit you. I KNOW you like me."

"DO NOT, UN!" Deidara growled blushing

" Really?" Madara said Staring cutely as upper part of cloak is unzipped, causing Deidara to blush.

"Err…"

"You know you like it." Madara purred wrapping his arms around Deidara _NOW FOR REVENGE FOR BOSSING ME AROUND AS TOBI! MWHAHAHAHA!_

Deidara was starting to feel hot "Damn . . . you win, un" _Why do I have a bad feeling about this?_

Madara smirked devilishly remembering the others _maybe later._ "If you want more follow me" Madara whispered in Deidara's ear before letting go of Deidara and strolling to his room.

"Looks like he's teasing you" Itachi snickered

"And it looks like somebody liked the hug" Hidan laughed

"SHUT IT,UN!" Deidara growled running to Madara's room

"Hey, Deidara where ya goin'? To have a nooner with sexy?" Sasori chuckled

"Jealous you can't join, un?" Deidara purred slipping in Madara's room

Everyone stayed silent for a while. "DAMN! We've been out beat!"

"Well Deidara is the youngest out of all of us" Pein huffed _man what I wouldn't do to get some of that tail_

"I wonder if Madara likes the idea of a cougar relationship." Kakuzu pondered

"You a hundred years to young Kakuzu" Pein muttered, to Hidan's relief

"What? Kakuzu is like dirt old"

"Well listen up kids cause Madara is older than dirt" Pein laughed

"Shit, your lying! He looked like a twenty year old in there, face and…body" Hidan smirked at the thought

^3^ ELSE WHERE IN SEXY SEXY LAND ^3^ P.S. I included this part because I love you all XD

Once Deidara slipped in the room Madara had him pinned to the wall. Madara grazed his tongue over Deidara's ear lobe. Deidara gasped as Madara aggressively nipped and nibbled his ear. All the thoughts of him being on top were thrown out the window, Madara would never be on bottom.

**AN don'tcha just hate it when there's a cliffhanger right when it gets to the good parts? XD well I thank you Muki-chan for the wonderful idea :D and there will be one more chapter hurray. **

**Deidara: ok so you threaten to kill me, get me killed, get me raped, then killed, and let's not forget me getting hit by a car. And right when it gets to the best part you end it :O UN **

**Tobi-kun: I only implied to kill you….and you're looking at all the bad parts**

**Madara: are you guys gonna start that fight again, because if you are I need to make popcorn**

**Deidara: NO! And in the next chapter I'm not letting you bang me UN**

**Madara: one, you know you like it. And two that's not your choice is it. :3**

**Tobi-kun: that's right Madara-dono! It's my choice!**

**Deidara: I KILL YOU UN!**

**Tobi-kun:*hides behind Madara* protect me Madara-dono**

**Madara: Your reviews will help keep Tobi-kun here safe from Deidara**

**Tobi-kun :3**


	2. Back again

**Back again! You know the drill, yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi, OCness, crack, crack, crack cocaine. Pairings: kisaita maddei kakuhid **

**Hikari and Muki are Muki-chan's characters and all Akatsuki members are Masashi's. there is a joke that some people may find offensive, basically it's a god-devil joke. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Muki-chan glanced at the screen in front of her.

"OMG! She posted it! HIKARI-CHAN! LOOKIE! SHE POSTED IT AND MADE IT BETA! THE FANDOM SHALL FALL TO MY REIN! MWHAHAHAHAAHAHA! . . . Butter toast!"

"…Muki, are you on crack again?" Hikari asked

"Err…no…"

"…Then explain that bottle of Sake you are "attempting" to hide behind your back."

"…This ant Sake…it's…uh…MY CHOCOLATE MILK! Yeah…that's it."

"OH NO! I am NOT letting you near BOTH that stuff again! Not after what you and Deidara did LAST time!"

"HEY! I didn't know crashing Deidara's birds disguised to look like planes into the Twin Towers would get the FBI after my butt!" Muki-growled

"Sure you didn't. YOU WERE ONLY FIVE WHEN THAT HAPPENED BY YOUR HAND MUKI! JUST THINK OF THE LIVES YOU HAVE DESTORIED WHEN YOU WERE HIGH ON SUGAR AND SAKE! Just like you DIDN'T know that pressing that button would cause the so called "earthquake" in Haiti! Muki, FANGIRLS SHOULD NOT BE ON CRACK! WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUT AN ATOMIC BOMB UNDERGROUND A CITY FILLED WITH PEOPLE ANYWAY?!" Hikari sarcastically barked

"…Two words: Rice Crispies. Snap, crackle, POP!"

"Damn. I HAVE to keep you AWAY from that terrorist cereal."

Tobi Jumped out of nowhere randomly "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

" You erased their minds of Madara and the SHOWER INCIDENT?! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU MUKI!?" Hikari "whispered"

"What shower incident? Tobi wanna know! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi exclaimed hearing Hikari's "whispers

Deidara comes out of nowhere too (where are they all coming from 0_0)"Trust me, Un. With those two, you NEVER want to know."

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY POISON?!" sasori shouted

"….What's p-p-oi-son?" Muki stuttered tripping over the word poison.

"The purple stuff by my puppets! Where is it?!"

"Oh! You mean the purple grape juice Muki found! Muki was really thirsty, you see, so Muki drank it!" Muki chimed

Everybody stares at Muki, shocked.

"But den I felt REALLY sick and Hikari said it was a miracle I'm alive!"

"I don't know how she lives through all the things she does."Hikari shrugged

"It's easy; to live forever you need to sing to the vegetable friends!" (McCain's vegetable friends :D)

Everybody looked at Muki like she was crazy. (nah that can't be it XD)

"I LIKEZ MEH CHOCOLATE MILK!" Muki randomly yelled

"Man! That girl is q Fuckin' psycho! SHES WORSE THAN TOBI! GOD FUCKING THE DEVIL, IT'S TRUE!" Hidan shrieked

****Somewhere in Heaven**** ((Note: The following sketch may, as in more than likely, PISS off Catholics.))****

God Sneezed before starting with a confused expression.

"Kami-sama, are you alright?" hummed content devil

"I have a feeling that someone who believed in JASINE said 'GOD'."

"Hn, doesn't matter. You worry too much." Satan purred snuggling closer to his lover.

"Yeah . . . at least Muki isn't here anymore. I mean, that girl had caused Hell to set on fire and make Heaven and endless cloud wasteland!"

"That's why we gave her immortality, my Kami-sama. Now we have nothing to worry about!"

"Yeah . . . but I worry for the humans . . . if the girl can set Hell on fire and make Heaven nothing but clouds, JUST THINK to what she is doing to the poor humans!" god sighed wrapping an arm around Satan

"Hey! It's them or US! I do NOT want that girl in the afterlife AGAIN!"

" Kami-san, it's your angel. You've been in your roo-" an angel said entering the room

"…Should we bother explaining?" Satan asked

"Heck no! Just watch and enjoy the reaction!"

"And THAT is why I love you!"

"…Oh…my…gwad! *Nosebleed* KYA! SO CUTE!" then the angel fainted and somewhere a puppy was punched…maybe in LA…

"It is so NICE to be evil now and then! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" god bellowed

*Back to the Akatsuki, Hikari, and Muki-chan*

"TOBI IS A GOOD-"

"SHUT UP YOU WORTHLESS SWIRLY-MASKED BITCH!" Itachi yelled slapping Tobi making his mask fall off. No one sees this though, because Tobi is now in the fetal position with his face buried in his legs…how nice.

"…It's been nice knowing you Itachi." Muki leered as she thought. _He is screwed._

"Wha-?"

Itachi senses MADARA'S chakra flair and recognizes the chakra signature coming from Tobi.

"Oh SHIT!"

"I'M GOING TO CASTRATE YOU INTO LITTLE BLOODY SKIN SHAVINGS, ITACHI!" Madara roared

Sasuke Bashed through door and everyone pauses.

"DAMN! MADARA TOOK MY LINE!"

Everyone decides now is the time to ignore Sasuke.

"Now where was I? Oh yes! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SWALLOW YOUR OWN BLOODY SACK WHEN I'M FINISHED CARVING THROUGH YOUR FLESH!"

Itachi Turns into a chibi and looks cutely at Kisame. "KISAME! Pwease don't wet him kwill meh!"

Kisame Tries to resist a very cute chibi Itachi and blushes. "Err…" _He's so cute! MUST . . . RESIST!_

Itachi Blushes slightly and puts finger on lips " Ju can twouch meh in all dwifferent pwlaces if ju help~"

Kisame Jumped in front of Madara "YOU'LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST!"

Itachi grinned. _Works EVERY time._ Madara Stares cutely while smiling ever so evilly _Mwhahaha…_ Deidara's Brain had crash and reboot due to the shock of Tobi's identity.

Pein Turned to the others "Okay, any plans to calm down Madara?"

"I have one…mwhahahaha…"Muki snickered

****Five minutes later****

A VERY wet Deidara in nothing but swim trunks walks in all wet. Why do I feel like this happened before?

"NOW TO EAT YOU FROM THE INSI-the inside……out…" Madara slowed seeing Deidara and started blushing heatedly.

Kisame Sneaked to Itachi and takes him out of the room while Madara is occupied with staring at Deidara.

"…What, un?" Deidara asked Looking so innocent it's just plain cute.

"MINE!" Madara growled Grabbing Deidara and pining him to the ground before heatedly kissing him.

"Damn . . . that's HOT." Konan said with a mad nosebleed.

Muki-chan holding out a camera and started recording ALL of it. "Mwhahahaha . . . this is SO going on Youtube." while Kakuzu Doing the EXACT same thing. "MONEY! LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY! KUKUKUKUKUU!"

"Urg, Muki?" Hidan asked Walking in completely wet, only without boxers. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY FUCKIN CLOTHS?!"

Kakuzu Dropped the camera instantly and notices Hidan, blushing so hard that it redefines the word 'blush'

"My work here is done!"Muki crooned running to the door and starts charging admission fee for yaoi fangirls to watch this stuff LIVE. "That'll be 100 dollars."

"TAKE IT! ANYTHING IS WORTH THIS! KYA! DEIMADA!" uttered the fangirl giving Muki the money and runs to the spot where Madara is leaving hickeys all over Deidara's milky skin.

"…Kuzu' what's wit ya? Why are you staring at me li- WHA!" Hidan is tacked to the ground by Kakuzu before he rips of his mask and kisses Hidan in a lustful moment. Hidan moans under the sheer pressure of the kiss as Kakuzu trails down the flawless tone of the Janshin's skin.

"So hot . . . Kya." Faints due to loss of blood.

Madara continued to trail down onto the flush skin of Deidara as the Uchiha dominates the lust-filled attraction. Kakuzu roughly drags Hidan away, much to the disappointment of the fangirls.

"Ahh . . . Ma . . . dara . . . sama." Deidara moaned

"Your MINE and MINE alone, Dei-chan." Madara Hissed before kissing Deidara again and stopping at the sound of fangirls.

"KYA! THIS IS SO HOT!"

"HOW THE HECK DID ALL THESE FANGIRLS GET IN HERE, UN?!"

I'll give you one guess…"

Both Madara and Deidara Screamed in anger. "MUKI!"

"…I WILL NOT BE STOPPED!" Muki chanted Running away

"Okay! That's it! I'm pressing the post button before you poison the minds of anymore people!" Hakira growled

"WHA, NO-"

**AN aren't I evil? I never finished the scene from the last chapter XDDD. Anyway I've decided since exams are coming up I won't be thinking much about stories, so I will write one-shots (two if I like you XD). E-MAIL me at ****Tobifan4444yahoo**** …I know I use the same user name for everything XD. If you email me spam, flames, or if you are 53 old dude I will put you on my hit list and slit your throat in you sleep ^_^**

**Deidara: 0_0 a bit scary, un!**

**Tobi-kun: …really?**

**Madara: yeah kinda…I had a scarier moment**

**Tobi-kun: yes Madara-dono you win**

**Madara: :D yes**

**Deidara: I can't believe it, un…I was going to have a good time then you totally skip it, un…I hate you, un**

**Tobi-kun: ^_^ hate is a strong word. Anyways the rest of the info is on my profile page, pls review.**

**To Muki-chan: thank you for your replies! Email me them so some people…you know who you are, don't try and peek ^_^ thx**


	3. Im EVIL :D

**Muk****i-chan and Tobi-kun are back with another random cracky fangirly story. And if you're thinking 'I hope she doesn't start the story from a new point' then your hopes will not be answered. :D enjoy.**

One day, within a random city in a random place nobody really cares about, a random banker was ready to start his day at work at his pointless job. Why the hell doesn't he get out and make something of himself?! We'll never know, but anyway, that's not what this story is about.

The Banker sighed "Another boring day at work…My life sucks."

That was until everything changed with a . . .

_BANG!_

"SEE, UN?! Why the heck use a door when my art could do it for us, un?"

"YOU HE-BITCH! I am NOT paying for your damages!" Kakuzu yelled

"I LIKE CAKE!" Muki exclaimed

"TOBI LIKES CAKE TOO! Seeeeeempai! TOBI WANTS CAKE!"

To say the banker was shocked was an understatement . . .

"What . . . the . . . fuck."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, TOBI, UN!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SEMPAI IS A MEANY!" Tobi cried

"Shut the fuck up you heathen bitches and let's do this!" Hidan screamed holding up a fist

"YAY! MUKI HAS HER BAZUKA!" Muki yelled pulling out a bazooka.

"Where did you get a bazooka?" Hikari asked

"FUDDGIE CAKE!" Muki smiled

"…I shoulda known you'd say that." Hikari sighed

"How the heck did we get dragged into this?" Konan asked turning to Pein

"…Eheehee. No idea.." Pein nervously stated

*******Flashback********

"DAMN KAKUZU! THAT CHEEP ASS!"" Pein growled

"What's wrong emo-ass?" Muki asked

"WOULD YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT?!" Pein yelled

"Okay, PUNK-ASS IT IS!" Muki giggled

Pein Sighed "Kakuzu is too damn cheep to pay for a VACATION!"

Itachi Came out of nowhere. "YOU LACK VACATION!"

"Well a CURTAIN cheep-ass *cough*Kakuzu*cough* won't fund one!" Pein growled

"Ohhh, ju mean de person who has all dat green papa in his bed!"

….Silence….

"…Muki? Where did you find this "green paper"?"" Pein asked

"OHHH! IN HIS MATRESS! I asked Hidan about it once, and he said "The cheep fucker has been so pissed off since the great depression that the asshole had thought it was a "good" idea it put it in his mattress. THE CHEEP WHORE EVEN HAS A SECURITY SYSTEM AROUND HIS BED!"

"Please, we can get past ANY security system." Pein snickered

"Kakuzu lacks power . . . and soon he will lack cash." Itachi said grinning evilly.

**********Five minutes later**********

Pein walked in Gasping and looking beaten up with bruises and scares. "I DIDN'T THINK MICHAL JACKSON MUSIC COULD MAKE IT LOOK SO WRONG!"

Itachi right behind him Looking as beaten up as Pein. "…Evil…gay…bunnies…" the he Fainted

"Oh yeah! Muki shoulda mentioned that Hidan said to "Watch out for the fuckin evil robot bunny doing the Thriller, it makes even something so damn Fuckin cute look like a slut on a pole at a Nightclub!"

"AND WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THIS BEFORE?!"

"Ju neva asked meh."

Pein's Eye twitched "Well what _else _didn't you tell me about the security system?"

"OH! THE SYSTEM WILL DO-"

_BOOM!_

"That."

""Please don't tell me the money blew up…"

"It was set to do that on a chance Orochimaru was in a 100 mile radius since de bunny doesn't affect him, so he planted Deidara's bombs to go off when it happened!"

*Meanwhile somewhere outside the Akatsuki base*

_BOOM!_

"Did you hear something, Kabuto?" Orochimaru asked as he passed A big flashing sign saying "AKATSUKI BASE" is behind him with casino music, but he doesn't notice.

Kabuto Also has the sign behind him and doesn't notice "I didn't hear a thing."

"Oh, well. I want to read Tobifan4444's DeidaraXMadara when I get back to Otogakure! Let's hurry and find the Akatsuki base!" Orochimaru Squealed like a fangirl in thought of the fanfictions

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama." Is use to Orochimaru's fanboy-ness . . . if that's what you call it.

"Remember, they are MASTERS at hidden bases. It's not like there will be a big flashing sign saying "AKATSUKI BASE", so look carefully. Dismissed."

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama." Poofs away

"Let's go!" Poofs away

*Back in the Akatsuki Base*

"…Kakuzu is going to MURDER us."

"MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!"

"I don't want to die . . . PEIN DID IT!"

"…Fuck."

"PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIN!" Kakuzu walked in the room with Hidan's weapon while his eyes blaze with rage.

"WAIT!"

"WHAT?!" Kakuzu said Glaring at Muki

"MUKI KNOWS HOW YOU COULD GET ALL JUR MONEY BACK AND MORE!"

*End of Flashback*

"I STILL don't know how she convinced us to rob a bank."

Tobi Walked up to banker "HI! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

"How may I help you?" Banker said Giving Tobi a WTF stare

"TOBI WANTS ALL YOUR MONEY!"

"Sorry, can't do that." _WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?!_

"But you will!"

"Huh?"

Tobi Voice turned from high pitch to low and sultry, with a dark ring to it "_IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE A PAINFUL DEATH AS I CASTRATE YOU LIMB BY LIMB, YOU MUST DO WHAT I COMMAND! I SHALL MAKE YOU SUFFER AS I SLOWLY CARVE INTO YOUR FLESH, WHILE FORCING YOU TO SLICE OFF YOUR OWN DICK! GIVE INTO MY DEMANDS OR SUFFER THE CONSIQUENCES!"_

"Okay! OKAY! I'll give you the money! JUST DON'T KILL ME!" the banker panicked Giving over a billion dollars in a money bag for Tobi

"TOBI THANKS YOU!" Tobi yelled Running off to Deidara "SEMPAIIIIIIII!"

"WHAT, UN?!" Deidara yelled Working on clay bird

"GUESS WHAT! TOBI-"

"SHUT UP, UN! I'm thinking of a plan to get the money, un"

"But Tobi-"

"TOBI! SHUT UP, UN!"

Tobi Voice turned from high pitch to low and sultry, with a dark ring to it. "_WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE YOU BLOND BITCH!"_

Deidara was Completely silence in shock. _Is this REALLY Tobi? Who is he REALLY under that mask?_

"Thank you, Sempai! Tobi gotz ALL de money from de bank and wez can leave now because TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

"Tobi…"

"Yes, Sempai?"

"Who are you really?"

"TOBI IS TOBI! Sempai is being silly."

"Sure Tobi, coughMADARAcough you're a GOOD boy alright." Muki "coughed" Sarcastically

Deidara Heard what Muki "coughed" "AS IN UCHIHA, MADARA?!"

Muki-chan: My work here is done!" Muki yelled Running off once again

"DAMMIT! Why is it that in EVERY chapter _MUKI _foils my plans!" (this is true, maybe it just not meant to be Madara)

Deidara Staring at Madara's heated face and blushes deeply (0-0 what the hell is he thinking?!"

Madara Starts to eat a random cake

*Two Minutes later*

Deidara Still staring

"You know Deidara; you've been staring at me for the past two minutes. I'm guessing its cause' I'm the only one eating cake, am I right?"

_Screw that he's an Uchiha! I'm going to get __WHO__ I want when I want__ HIM__!_ Deidara Jumped on Madara before biting into neck.

Madara Dropped the cake and moans slightly at touch. "Urgh…Deidara? " Madara managed to leak out, Blushing heatedly while the blond sucks on the skin in his neck before leaving a bruise

"Yeah, Un?"

Madara Smirked "I'm _never_ bottom." Madara said Flipping Deidara over and pining him to the ground before kissing him heatedly. Then the Police alarms went off.

"DAMMIT!"

Cops surrounded them.

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP!"

"You wouldn't want Deidara to do that."

Deidara Released clay bird from hand-mouth thingy. (XD) "KATSU!"

Madara and Deidara escape from the explosion just in time.

"Now, where were we?"

Deidara Smirked "Right about at the part where-"

Deidara never finished his sentence as Madara began to kiss the blond deeply once again.

*Meanwhile in prison*

"That is the LAST time we rob a bank!" Pein growled

Zetsu Stared at other prisoners Hungrily

"YOU WANT TO GO PLANT-FREAK?!"

"…You are food, I am hungry." Zetsu said Eating the prisoner to the shock and freak out of most prisoners

Muki Smirked evilly "CHOCOLATE!"

Sasori Sighed "WHY AM I STUCK IN A CELL WITH A MENTAL CASE?!"

"Stop complaining, Madara will get us out of here!" konan yelled

"who?"

"I wouldn't count on it; he's VERY busy at the moment." Muki grinned

"You planned this from the beginning didn't you?" Hikari sighed

"Mwhahahahahaha . . . I SHALL RULE THE NARUTOVERSE!"

Hikari Sighed "I don't know HOW you managed to avoid a mental hospital for this long."

"GOOD ACTING!"

"Point taken."

"MWHAHAHAHAHA!"

*else where in sexy sexy land that if this scene is not finished here, it will never be ^_^ I'm evil I know*

Deidara panted heavily as Madara laid kisses all over his naked body. Deidara moaned when Madara slid his cold finger around his stomach. Deidara arched his back leaning into Madara's touch. Madara smirked, licking Deidara's belly button.

***Click***

**AN what can I say, I'm evil. But I'm not heartless, sooner or later I will post be hide the senses with da yaoi :D **

**Deidara: why could you just finish it here, un?!**

**Tobi-kun: cause**

**Deidara: cause, un?**

**Tobi-kun: uhhh just cause**

**Deidara: I hate you, un**

**Tobi-kun: you do. You tried to rape me**

**Deidara: //// I tried to rape Madara, un**

**Tobi-kun: yeah yeah yeah. Please review or ill crush your tiny little dog pig skullz :D**


	4. NOT ANOTHER NOOOO

**Another chapter?! This chapter is not a crack-*burst out laughing* I can't! I just can't say it with a straight face on! XD This is filled with so much crack you could print it out, roll it up, smoke it, and get high off of one puff. How do I know that? *looks around for cops* you didn't hear this from me, but this is just filled with endless crack. Now if I may digress from the crack, TO THE STORY!**

**!!!!!!!!!!OH MY GAWD NOT ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!**

Muki screeched "OMG! I luvz meh donutz! Teehee!"

Hikari groaned "Oh gawd, Muki is on crack again!"

"SHHHH, HIKARI…My yeast is rising."

"I take it back…"

"MUKI WINS!"

"You're not on crack, you're on marijuana!"

"Is that good?"

"…Yes Muki, that's _very_ good!"

"…Muki remembers when Muki first met the Akatsuki…"

"…I know, I was there. But does this have anything to do with the story?! Tobi-kun gave us a script!"

"SCREW THE SCIRPT! YUP! Iz remember it like it was last week…"

"IT _WAS_ LAST WEEK YOU IDIOT!"

"Shhh! JU ARE GONNA RUIN MY FLASHBACK! ROLL THE PAST!"

"Roll the past?"

"…CHICKEN!"

"…Lets just start." Hikari groaned putting her palm to her face

******Flashback******

Muki Smirked as an explosion was heard before muttering into communicator. "MISSION COMPLETE, DEI-KUN!"

Muki's younger brother, Heat, dashed to Muki in panic

"Muki! THE TWIN TOWERS EXPLODED WHEN THESE PLANES-" heat screeched in a very girly voice

"Yeah, yeah, fat ass! We gotta bail before the cops come!"

"…Okay, WHAT did you do?"

"A lot of things, Heat, a lot of things."

"Well the cops-"

******Cut in flashback******

"EEEEP! MUKI-NII YOU GOT THE FLASHBACK WRONG!" Muki screeched

"…Your right here you know."

"I know! I was talking to my clone!"

"……clone?"

Muki's clone came in, though she was commonly known as Alternate Muki since she was more evil and destructive than the original. She didn't even have a hint of Muki's…mentalness. Yeah! THAT is what I will call it!

The Alternate Muki Smirked "Hello, Kari-chan."

"OH MY FUCKIN GOD THERE'S ANOTHER ONE! WHY IS GOD OUT TO GET ME?! I COULD BARELY HANDLE ONE!" Hikari screeched like a baby when I steal its candy from is and go 'nener nener neeeneeeeer' while licking the candy (and yes I do, do that XD)

Alternate Muki Watched in amusement as Hikari had a mental breakdown. "This is amusing."

"HI OTHA ME! Ju got de flashback wrong!"

Alternate Muki Stared broadly at real muki "…So? I am going to take over your life and become YOU, Muki, what makes you think-"

Muki has already heard Alternate Muki's evil plan…a hundred times. So to make things go smoothly she started whispering in alternate Muki's ear. "I will lock Itachi in a closet and *whisper* you *whisper* destructive tools *whisper* and in a MINI SKIRT *whisper* SOUP *whisper* with a giant burring stick of dynamite shoved in his *whisper* with Kakuzu's power of tentacle rape."

Alternate Muki got a Nosebleed. "Damn . . . I can't pass up that offer! ONE FLASHBACK COMING UP!" alternate muki said walking away

Itachi Was eavesdropping and decided to find out what muki said. "Muki . . . what exactly did you TELL her to do with me?!"

Muki Smirked "You wouldn't want to know Itachi, but I advise you to sleep with a helmet tonight…"

Itachi Shivered "Alright…"

"…and a cup."

"Why do I have to wear a-"

"You do NOT want to know, Itachi, trust me on that!"

"But-"

"ROLL THE FLASHBACK!"

******Flashback******

"Dammit! I need to get to the Akatsuki and set up those cameras for the fangirls to watch Akatsuki LIVE! The ones in the bathroom and bedroom will be the MOST expensive though . . . I'll get MILLIONS!"

"I think you were support to take a turn here-"

"NO! Muki knows what she's doing!" muki yelled Taking out 'Joining the Akatsuki for Dummies'

"Okay, '_Rules_ _to Join the Akatsuki'…'If you're a vegetarian too bad, we love chicken wings'…'Don't scream OMG THERE'S A POTATO! Kakuzu is afraid of them._' WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THIS?! Wait . . . what was that part about Hidan and Playboy?!" Hikari shouted flipping through the book

Meanwhile, somewhere, Kakuzu shivers as he has a feeling someone in a 100 mile radius had mentioned his name and . . . the dreaded potato!

"READ DIRECTIONS TO BASE!"

"Fine, fine! Okay…_walk forward three steps, then take a left, then another left, then a right, spin around in a circle, and sneak into a government base and launch a bomb while riding a marry-go-round while spinning without stopping_."

*One Nation Conspiracy Later*

Muki was spinning while shouting "LOL! WORLD SPINNING WHEEEEEE!" and then she fainted

Hikari red the rest in annoyance. "_Ha, ha! Congratulations! You just made yourself dizzy! No, we will not tell you where our base is"_ Hikari's eye twitched as book bursts into flames

"HIKARI! You just killed a tree!"

"Screw the trees! That book is crap! Now how are we going to-"

Hidan Walked out of trees. "WHAT THE FUCK KAKUZU, YOU CHEEP BASTARD HOW COULD YOU NOT-"

All four Paused and stared.

"OMG! WHINY OUT OF CONTROL VAMPIRE! RUUUUUUUN!" muki shrieked Pointing at Hidan

"I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN BITCH!"

"Hidan, if you shut up I'll just pay for the…" Kakuzu said feeling pocket for wallet and notices it was empty "MY MONEY!!!"

"TELL US WHERE THE AKATSUKI BASE IS OR THE CASH GETS IT!" muki said holding a lighter over the money

"… Muki?"

"Yes?"

"How would cash-?"

"NO! NOT MAI MONEY!" Kakuzu yelled Grabbing his money " Just keep going in the direction we were walking away from! Trust me, you can't miss it!" then he started to Cuddle the money causing everyone but Muki to wonder about his sanity. "Daddy's here sweeties! DADDY'S HERE!"

"_I have underestimated your fangirlism, Muki_." Hikari Whispered

"DAMN RIGHT!" _**smack **_"OWIE! Hikari, why ju do tat?!"

Both See Hidan and Kakuzu staring with wariness

"_Did you forget rule one of the Akatsuki Fangirl Handbook?! Do not __tell__ them you are a fangirl!"_ Hikari Whispered harsher.

"IZ DECIDED TO MAKE MY VEGETABLE FRIENDS SING TO THE MUFFINS!"

"…The girl is mad."

"Lets just keep Fuckin walkin away from this crazy bitch and get this mission crap out of our Fuckin way."

Hidan and Kakuzu leave the area, while Hikari and Muki stop in front of a big flashing sign with casino music stating **"AKATSUKI BASE"**

"…Masters of hidden bases my ass, their practically ADVRITISING their base!"

Muki knocked on the door to the _HIDDEN_ base like any _'sane'_ person.

Deidara unfortunately opened the door "Oi, what the heck do you want, un?!"

Hikari stood there talking to herself in her head, _like any normal person. I hope Muki has a good cover! . . . Wait! What in my sane mind make me rely on MUKI of all people! Damn, we're screwed_.

"Have you seen this person?" Holds up a picture of Muki

Deidara Stared at Hikari with sympathy due to his knowledge of mental cases (I.E. Tobi). "Err….no…" then Deidara Stared at Hikari for help.

Hikari Mouthed "_Just go along with it, or I have to suffer_."

"OH! But I think you HAVE!"

"…No, un. Sorry. " Then he tried to close the door when it was stopped by Muki's foot.

"WAIT!"

"What, UN?!"

Muki Smirked "Nighty, night Dei-kun." Then muki Knocked Deidara out before entering base.

"…WHY didn't you DO that from the start?!"

"I had to find this person!" muki said Holding up picture of the _Alternate_ Muki.

"_Sure, Muki, sure."_ Hikari said not knowing about alternate Muki yet.

Zetsu Stared at Muki and Hikari, drooling. "…Death…You smell like corpses…YOU ARE FOOD!" Zetsu growled Lashing out at Muki. Before he could even touch her, muki took out some weed spray and sprayed the can at him.

"NO! I'M MELTING! I'M METING!" Zetsu wined Melting into a mushy puddle.

"HIKARI! The talking plant has vanished! I tink my smell bunny worked!"

"Muki, that's WEED SPRAY!" (ZOMG ZETSU-SAN IS WEED!)

"NO! It's my smell bunny named Biffles! He LOVES to kill people! Don't a Biffles!" Muki smirked as the weed spray can is somehow holding a gun.

_Damn, I think her insanity infected me!_ Hikari thought Walking away muttering to herself. "It's not real, Hikari, it's just a figment of your imagination . . . not real at all."

*One short crazy walk later into the living room where Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, and Konan are hanging out at*

"…my fangirl senses are tingling…"

"Itachi, you don't HAVE fangirl senses! It's like the time you said they were in the closet, but they weren't there at all!" Kisame chuckled

Sasori was working on puppets. "Itachi, I think the stress is getting to you. Tell Pein he 'lacks vacation' or something. We could _all_ use one."

"BUT IN THE CLOSET THERE WAS A GAINT HOLE!"

"Itachi, it was a gopher or mole of some kind."

"The hole was three feet wide, enough to fit two fangirls. That is TOO big for a mole."

"Whatever, Itachi. Go yell at the pancakes or something."

Itachi Huffed and walked into the kitchen.

"…I just had a sudden sense of doom."

"Sasori, you know it's only fan paranoia-"

_**BANG**_

"MUFFINS!"

"Why can't you use the door like NORMAL people?"

"…Your right."

"I am? Oh yeah! I am!"

"I'm gonna swim through the toilet next time!"

"How will you fit?"

"I have my ways."

"…Madness, Muki. You are madness."

Kisame and Sasori staring in shock at the two, while konan spaced out.

Kisame took out sword and pointed it at Muki. "Who are you two?!"

"OHHH! A CACTUS! I'm STARVING!" muki shouted Eating Kisame's sword(don't worry he'll get his sword back…sooner or later…)

"…Don't ask."

"M-muki.. SHIT!"

"You know her?"

"Da! She's the fangirl who has major influence over the fandom! Here means…"

_**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!**_

"DAMN! I TOLD them not to come! How am I gonna set up the cameras NOW?!"

"…Cameras?"

"Teehee . . . Hikari, Muki made an oopsie."

Tobi Came out of nowhere with Pein. "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! Where is Dei-sempai?"

Deidara walked into room with large bump on head. "YOU, UN!" he yelled Pointing at Muki

"Who?"

"She means you dumbass."

Deidara's Eye twitched. "I am a GUY!"

Sasori bursts out into laughter, Pein tries to cover up snickers, Kisame is ROFLing, Konan was giggling, and Tobi…well….

"SEMPI IS A PRETTY GIRL!"

More laughter

"SHUT UP, UN! THAT JOKE IS GETTING OLD! Oh and Sasori, UN" _REVENGE!_

"What?"

"Walt Disney called, he wants you back "Pinocchio", UN."

More laughter

"I SAID I DIDN'T WANT HIM, I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY I DIDN'T WANT HIM EVER!"

Silence

"You mean that was TRUE,UN?!"

Kisame's Eye twitched. "What did he mean by 'Walt Disney wanting him'?"(You know exactly what he mint kisaaaaamee)

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

"MUKI IS A GOOD GIRL!"

"BUT TOBI IS A BETTER BOY!"

"AND MUKI IS AN EVEN BETTER GIRL!"

"…..Tobi is the best boy" Tobi growled activating his eye.

Muki Took out sharp objects causing Tobi to flinch. "I AM a GOOD girl . . . as far as you know. Mwhahahaha."

"…I like you. It would be nice to have another amusing character to this organization." Tobi mused walking away and stands beside Deidara. "HI SEMPAI!"

"Dat was Madara."

"OBITO!"

"Pfft! Obito got crushed by boulders!"

"Madara was killed at the Valley of the End!"

"But they NEVER found a body.""

"And Zetsu reconstructed OBITO!"

"…I will expose him, den you will see! HE IS MADARA!" (And that kiddies is why he is exposed In ALMOST all the chapters.)

"We will settle this the old fashion way!"

"Wet noodle fight on scooters?!"

Hikari popped Muki on head in annoyance. "NOT THAT WAY!"

"…Can you hit my head again?"

"…WHY?"

"Ju made my brain get static and messed wit the signal!"

Hikari Hit Muki on the head again.

"DATS THE MEXICAN CHANNEL!"

"_Sooooorry_!" Not sorry at all, then Hits her head again.

"Muchie beta!"

Hikari Sighed. " Your hopeless."

"I knew dat a LOONG time ago Bobby."

Hikari's Eye twitched "MY NAME IS HIKARI!"

"I LIKE RAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!"

****End of Flashback****

" ROFL! Well that explains ALOT!" I laughed

"OMG! TOBI-KUN!"

"Great! ANOTHER mental case!"

"Mwhahahaha." Muki and me laughed evilly

"And this makes the show-"

"WAIT!"

"What?"

"….DE ALEINS ARE ATTACKING!" I screamed flailing my arms in the air

"There are no-"

_**BOOOOOM**_

. . . I am sorry! Your fan fiction has been disconnected at this time cause' Muki-chan just HAD to put aliens in the fan fiction. The story will continue on the next chapter!...maybe….


	5. Death party!

**I do not own any Akatsuki member, I do not own any songs…well I do but like..ok.. I DID NOT MAKE ANY SONGS! Better :3 do I really have to say it? ~sigh~ YAOI YAOI LOTSA LEMONS!!!**

We barely made it out of there alive! WHY THE HECK DID YOU PUT ALEINS IN A FANFICTION ANYWAY?!" Hikari huffed

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

"Oooh oooh! GUESS WHAT!" Muki yelled the darkly growled "_**MUKI-CHAN SAID GUESS!**_ "

Every one backed away from Muki and Deidara spoke "W-what, Un?"

"MUKI-CHAN HAS A PET STALKER!" She chimed holding up a tied and bound Orochimaru who was staring at Muki in fear. "I SHALL NAME HIM FLUFFY! "

Itachi Snickered. Orochimaru growled "FLUFFY?! WHY YOU NO GOOD- "

"FLUFFY TAKE BATH NOW!" Muki said Tossing "Fluffy" into a toilet and flushed it

"Oooh! LET'S PUT MR. TOASTY IN DE BATH TOO SO FLUFFY CAN HAVE A NEW FRIEND!" Tobi cheered putting atoaster in the toilet with Orochimaru, and Orochimaru was electrocuted.

Hikari Laughed "Poor . . . poor Orochimaru!"

"C-can't feel lungs . . . laughing too hard, Un." Deidara gasped laughing harder

"NOW TO USE SHAMPOO!" Muki yelled Dumping Barbecue sauce on Orochimaru "WHAT THE- "

Zetsu loomed over Orochimaru Drooling** "**Hungry"

"GAH! KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!"

Zetsu chased Orochimaru out of the Akatsuki base and the members laughed harder.** "**That is _too_ fuckin' funny!" Hidan Laughed

Muki shouted** "**LETS ALL DANCE ON DE EGGPLANTZ!"

"WILL THE TALKING PARROT BE DERE?!" Tobi yelled

"YEZ! LETZ GO INTO THAT WEIRD SPIRILING VORTEX!" Muki screamed pointing at a portal that seemingly appeared out of nowhere

"Err …where did that come from?" Hikari asked

"…I have NO idea, Un."

"AAAAAWWWAAAAY!" Muki cheered Jumping into the portal

"MUKI!" Hikari yelled Jumping in after her

"TOBI EHZ FLYING!" Tobi yelled Flying into the portal while suspended in mid-air

"WTF WAS THAT TOBI, UN?!" Deidara screamed following

"Well it's about time those fuckers- GAH!" Hidan didn't get to finish because a now grinning Kakuzu had pushedhim in the portal** "**Now that the annoyances are gone . . . whose up for _poker_?!"

Tsuande Busted through the wall. "I WILL NOT LOOSE THIS TIME KAKUZU!" She yelled Slapping money down. "GIVE ME THE CHIPS!"

Kakuzu gave her the chips and smirked** "**Gladly."

"Should we go after them?" Pein asked

"AND LET THEM TORMENT US?!" Konan yelled

"Point taken."

"We lack the retardness . . . and now I feel as if my life is complete."

"LET'S START A PARTY!"

Everybody cheered and started a party. Meanwhile on the other side of the portal Light Yagami AKA Kira and Ryuuzaki AKA L where having _another _argument

"Ryuuzaki-!"

"I don't believe you, Light-kun, as it is highly illogical."

"I swear, L, you may not know this but the sense of human premonition is 95% correct. Whatever those chill were-"

"Light-kun, I do not believe in premonition, fate, or destiny so what makes you think that the chill was a sign of doom? That is, unless this is a ploy from _Kira _to trick me into a false sense of panic."

"How many times must I repeat this?! I am _not _Kira! Trust me, L, something is going to happen . . . and it's going to be _bad._"

"You may believe what you wi- "

_**Crash**_

"You _actually _came out of the toilet this time!" Hikari yelled while Muki, who was wearing scuba diving gear and laying on the floor where Light and L are with a trail of water following her from the bathroom.

"PHOTOSYNTHESIS!" She chanted Rolling on floor stupidly** "**POTOSYNTHESIS!"

Deidara Busted through the roof and lands on the floor with Tobi on top of him**." **OW! GET OFF ME, UN!"

Tobi Hugged Sempai "**BUT** TOBI WAS A GOOD BOY AND DESTORIED DOSE MEDAL AIR OBJECTS **((Muki Note: O_O . . . They had the AIR FORCE after them?!))** THAT WAZ AFTER US!"

"I said GET OFF, Un!"

Now, like any normal . . . well, as far as normal as a mass murderer and socially retarded detective could get . . . people like Light and L, they did the only thing they could in this situation.

"What . . . the . . . fuck." Both L and Light said

Muki Ran into the wall** "**DING DONG!" then she fellon the ground "HELLO!"

"Nuts . . . your completely nuts . . ." Hikari sighed

"I AM NOT A FRUIT!"

"The nut isn't a fruit."

"Jur right!"

"DAMN RIGHT I AM!"

"MUST BE A VEGETABLE!"

Hikari stayed silent

"SEMPAI! LOOKIE! TOBI FOUND A BOX!" Tobi yelled holding up a computer

"That's a computer, Un."

"HI MOMMY" Tobi yelled again, Smashing computer on head

"HELLO MOTO!"

"_STOP! _Who are you, and _why _are you in the Kira Investigation Headquarters?" L asked with a firm tone

**Silence**

"What's a Kira? "

"How could you _not _know- "

"Light-kun let me handle this. Kira is a mass murderer, who- "

"Oh my god! Where?!"

"Ignore him, Un. Tobi is mentally retarded, un."

"OMG! CAKE!" Tobi shouted and started to chew on the Death Note

"Muki-Chan wants cake! _**GIVE ME THE CAKE! MWHAHAHAA!**_"

Everyone but Tobi backs away from Muki

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI WILL SHARE!" then Tobi Ripped the Death Note in half for Muki, and Tobi starts to chew on the other half

"Hey! You spit that out! That's evidence!"

"OMG! HEY KIRA!"

"WHAT?!"

"Ju just got exposed!" Muki snickered

""Thank you, Muki-Chan, and I have the recording of the evidence!" L said Holding up a tape

"MUKI-CHAN GET JUR CAKE NOW?!"

"Of course."

"**YAY**!" Muki then smashed her head into a computer

"Remind me to hide anything of value when working with retards."

Watari walked into the room** "**L are you alright I heard a- "

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOOOOOOOY!" Tobi screamed Falling on Watari, who is now knocked out

"**PWNED!"**

"Tobi, Un! This is why you _don't _use gum to stick to the roof! This is why we have chakura!"

"It's highly unlikely you guys posses any chakura seeing it's an object of myth that is commonly known in curtain religions."

"I agree with Light-kun."

"CHEAK IT!" Muki grinned Dancing on wall and starts singing Sexy Back by JustinTimberlake** "**_~I'm bringing sexy back~_"

Tobi Sang along with his voice surprisingly changing to low with a dark ring to it.** "**_**~Yeah~!**_"

"What . . ." **"**. The . . . "". Fuck, Un. . "L, light, Hikari, and Deidara asked themselves.

"_**~them mother fuckers don't know how to act~**_"

"_~Yeah~!_"

Tobi got _really _close to Deidara now** "**_**~Come let me make up for the things you lack~"**_

Deidara Blushes darkly"**Err** . . . what, Un? "

"_YEAH~!" Muki sang _Taking a picture of Tobi very close to Deidara and let out a fangirl squeal "_Cause' your burnin' up I gotta get it fast~_ "

Then Tobifan Came out of nowhere** "**_~Take it to the bridge~!_"

"How in the seven hells did you get here?!" Hikari asked.

"Do you _really _want to know? Besides there are nine circles in hell DUH!"

"Never mind"

Tobi took off his mask and reveals his identity as twenty-year old raven-haired hot looking Uchiha, Madara, while Muki whistled

"_**~Dirty babe~"**_

Both Muki and Tobifan squealed like the fangirl they were.

Madara lifted up Deidara's chin to make eye contacted with the blonds' flushed face **"**_**~You see these shackles? Baby I'm your slave~**_"

Deidara Blushed even deeper and has a slight nosebleed at the thoughts that Madara had caused to pop up in his head

Again both Muki and Tobifan squealed

Mello came in randomly** "**What's up everyo- " then Notices the broken computers, smeared cake,shredded Death Note, a blushing Light and L from the flirting Madara is doing to Deidara, a pwned Watari who must've been knocked out when Tobi fell on him, Muki videotaping the entire Deidara and Madara thing, Tobifan taking pictures, Hikari banging her head on the wall, the flood on the ground from the toilet, Muki dancing on the wall somehow, and a fire that seems to have appeared out of nowhere.

Matt followed Mello and dropped his Nintendo DSi when he notices what became of the Task Force office. ". . . We missed something."

Mello had Dropped his machine gun he had when he came in due to his shock** "**Damn right we did . . ."

Madara got only an inch away from Deidara.** "**_**~I'll let you whip me if I **__**misbehave**__**~"**_

Tobifan Glomped and tackles Matt and Mello** "Z**Omg! I didn't think they would be here!"

Madara Smiled childishly that looks completely adorable on Madara's pale features.** "**_**~It's just that no one makes me feel this way~" **__then he _Closed space between him and Deidara with a kiss. Deidara Pressed into Madara slightly and kisses back

"_~Take it to the chorus~!_"

_**FLASH!**_

_**BOOM!**_

Everyone who wasn't from the anime Death Note vanished with randomly colored rubber ducks appearing in their place.

Light Picked up a red-colored rubber duck where Hikari was at "What . . . the . . . fuck."

"Where did they go?"

"Do we even _want _to know?"

Mello Picked his gun up** "**Heh. Probably not."

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to the Akatsuki~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Itachi Setting something on fire** "**Woot!"

"Itachi! This party is getting out of hand!" Pein growled

Hidan who wasn't in the same place as the others Woke up** "**Wha?. . . WHY THE FUCK AM I DRESSED AS A CHEERLEADER?!"

Kakuzu Stared at Hidan. "What are you looking at greedy bastard?!" Hidan Yelled Blushing lightly

Zetsu Smirked Dunkley"I'm stalking you, I'm stalking you, I'm stalking you, I'm stalking you, I'm- "

"THAT'S IT ZETSU! GO AWAY OR I WILL SHOVE MY ORIGAMI UP YOUR DRUNKEN ASS!"

"WOOT!" kisame Smashed into pole.** "**HELLO MOTO!"

"Damn it Itachi! Control your partner!"

"It was his idea to have a drinking contest with Zetsu, not mine."

"WELL IT'S YOUR- "

_**FLASH!**_

_**BANG!**_

"MUKI-CHAN ISH A GOOD GIRL" Muki yelled Setting a random lamp on fire

Madara Wrapped his arms around Deidara from the shadows. "Hello everyone."

Deidara Blushed and smiled softy.** "**Maddy, Un."

Madara Pouted** "**Do you _really _have to call me that?"

Deidara Snickered** "**Now where would the fun be if I didn't, Un?"

"MUKI-CHAN PUT THE MATCHES DOWN!"

"Now . . . " Tobifan shouted holding up a camera **"**TO FACEBOOK!" then she Vanished in thin air

"What . . ."

". . . the . . ."

"fuckin . . . "

"hell . . ."

"Who the fuck are you?!" Hidan yelled Pointing at Madara

"Madara-sensei?!"

"You fuckin' know this guy?"

"Why is he here anyway . . . I didn't see him go into the portal . . ." **((Tobifan: NOTE! Itachi is too retarded to remember Tobi IS Madara. TOBIFAN AWAAAAY!!!))**

"Oi! I'm fuckin' talking to you Uchiha-bastard!"

"If you _really _want to know . . . I think I will give you all a hint." Changed to Tobi's high-shrill annoying tone of voice. **"**TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Back to his low dark-tone true tone ofvoice "Urg . . . you're all morons for believing that crap."

Deidara Huffed at Madara. "I believed it too, Un."

Madara Nuzzled into Deidara's neck "Then I should get an Oscar!"

Deidara hit Madara.

"Ouch! I was only joking Dei-k-**((Tobifan: naah no kun ;3 repeat it Maddy pls))**Ouch! I was only joking Dei-chan." (**(Tobifan: BETTER :D))**

Itachi was In shock** "**Deidara and Madara . . . together. That was unexpected."

"Damn right."

Pein Fainted from shock

"Dat concludes de show peoplez! Now Muki-Chan ish a good virus!"

"NO MUKI-CHAN NOT THE COMPUT-"

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